A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club.
One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest at who could make the best toast.

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wonderfull wife" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, and what was your toast?"

John lied and said,"Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh that was very nice indeed, John!", Mary said.

The next day Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night with a toast about you Mary."

She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised meself! You know, in twenty years married he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."